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Tag: Bonafide

Reviews roundup – Teresa James vs. Damian Wilson vs. Holon vs. Snail vs. GloryDaze

Reviews roundup – Teresa James vs. Damian Wilson vs. Holon vs. Snail vs. GloryDaze TERESA JAMES & the Rhythm Tramps Bonafide Jesi-Lu Records Let’s start off the day with some blues courtesy of Teresa James & the Rhythm Tramps. They’re based in Los Angeles although Ms James is originally from Texas and this is their…

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#edinburgh #newtongrange #dunbar #itsabitshit

Currently unsunny in Dunny. #dunbar

A blog post from yesterday. Normally on Fathers Day I’d post a picture of ma lang deid Dad, moan aboot how he died on Christmas Eve when I was at the school and get a bit girny. Not today. Because this year Fathers Day happens to coincide with my wedding anniversary. So I’ve really got something to girn aboot. This time last year was our silver wedding anniversary. 25 years since the drugs, brainwashing, alcohol and sheer bloody persistence persuaded you to climb into your surprise limousine and head off to Leith Town Hall to marry me. I say surprise. The real surprise was it still had all it’s wheels when you got tae the fit o’ the stair. Last year you were in the hospice. It was one of your good days. Good as in “I know I’m going to die but at least the hallucinations and paranoia caused by the cancer on my brain are being held at bay for a few hours by the tablets good”. There were a lot of tears but a few laughs as well. You ayeways were the funniest girl I ever knew. And as for me, well I’m a riot. I still can’t believe it’s ten months since the bastards took ye away so there will mainly be tears this year. I’m even writing this the night afore as I doubt I’ll be out my bed. I went raking and found a few outtakes that never made it to the wedding album. Me double checking you’d turned up. Me and the best man looking confident after Prince Ferdinand romped home at 9/2 ten minutes before the wedding. Just as well as I’d put the meal money on him. The post wedding meal with your son, his girlfriend, your bridesmaid and my best man. The pair o’ us at the meal. Cutting the cake post-wedding at the hoose o’ the bridesmaid. In the Carlton Highland for our one night honeymoon. Naturally I’ve fired up Teletext for the footie scores and checked oot the mini-bar.

Wee fat Gadgie doon the Vine in Junction Street swears up and doon that this is a cordless screwdriver. Ahm no convinced. But what could go wrong? It wis only a fiver so I'll plug it into the mains and go oot for a few hours till it charges. #onefortheladies

Well Mr Josef. Now we’ve established what a steady hand you have, feel free to use a sharp metal object on my throat #barber #edinburgh

I recently ran out of clean clothes but desperately in need of a bridie I ventured forth to the pie shop wearing only a towel. Within a very short time I had acquired a following of disaffected Lochend youths looking for meaning and purpose to their lives. Naturally I was happy to provide this guidance based on the amount of cash they had and how willing they were to call me Master. I soon realised that there were plenty of other people/mugs in need of guidance and / or parting from their money so I have decided to bring my wisdom to the world. Henceforth I shall be known as The Prophet Nehemiah and am available for childrens parties, team building exercises and corporate events*. Naturally, I am providing this service out of the goodness of my heart although a small non-refundable deposit of £250 (plus travel, hotels and towel) is required to cover the rather hefty insurance premium I am required to pay in case of any emotional, physical or mental damage I may cause. I am currently sellotaping posters to lampposts in the Lochend / Restalrig area secure in the knowledge that my followers will, um, follow. #cashonly #norefunds *after consulting with a learned scribe it appears that legally I am unable to attend bar or bat mitzvahs.

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